In 2005, a Brazilian woman attempted to sue her partner for failing to give her orgasms. 

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that even though he’s happy in Manchester he does Miss Wales occasionally.

Three out of a thousand men (0.3%) are well endowed enough to orally stimulate themselves to orgasm.

The sexual position formerly known as the “69” is now called the “96”. Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has gone up.

The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this… ‘Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”

So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?”

Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?” 

Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up (if you use a condom). It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body.

My girlfriend went mental because she found out I’d slept with another woman from our work.

“We were on a break!” I protested. Turns out our lunch break doesn’t count.  

sexualcamel:

mindlight:

I want you to be happy. When you’re happy, I’m happy.  So I believe that if I try to make you as happy and as comfortable in the relationship as possible, you won’t have needs for anything else.

Honestly. Fuck what I want. I get my smiles from yours. You’re adorable when you smile. And that’s how I feel about women I pursue.

I know it’s a bit backwards, and I end up getting hurt more than I want to, but I’m wrapped around the idea that your partner should be your best friend. And that’s how I treat my girlfriends.

Respect, care, love. 

Essentials for the relationship. And once we’re both providing it, everything else falls where it may. I just want to have a good time with you. It doesn’t have to be sex or big extravagant shit. A laugh here, a smile there, and a kiss to top it off, and I’ll be a happy man.

That’s all I want.